


maybe i wanted to impress you

by twelfthriver



Category: Ghostbusters (2016)
Genre: F/F, Holtzbert Secret Santa 2017, Slow Burn, also what am i doing?, don't worry it's not nearly as angsty as the summary sounds, erin honestly what are you doing?, happy new year guys, holtz inventing things
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-01-03
Updated: 2018-01-03
Packaged: 2019-02-27 18:44:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,816
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13254393
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/twelfthriver/pseuds/twelfthriver
Summary: Now, Erin Gilbert was intimately familiar with the ‘light years away’ look which tended to glaze over people’s eyes whenever she talked about her work in detail. Or maybe they looked atherlike she was light years away.God forbid she'd ever make Holtzmann feel like that.Today, however, Erin was struggling.





	maybe i wanted to impress you

**Author's Note:**

  * For [aloc](https://archiveofourown.org/users/aloc/gifts).



> This is my secret santa for aloc! You make such gorgeous art for this fandom (seriously, everyone go check it out) that it was a little intimidating to write a fic for you! I hope you had a fantastic holiday, and that your 2018 will be amazing! 
> 
> Because this fic got a little out of hand (I'm pretty new at writing), I've separated it into three chapters, and I'll try to post the second two over the next couple of days. I really hope you enjoy the story! :D (also I'm sorry for posting a little late! it's taking all of my willpower to not continue editing the hell out of this)

 

It was a cool Thursday morning, and Erin was glad for the roomy sweater she wore, as she made the familiar walk to the firehouse an hour earlier than usual.

Upon crossing the threshold, she made beeline for the coffee machine, only to find it hissed at her in a way that indicated Kevin had probably tried to use it to make a smoothie again, clogging up the system. Grimacing- both from disappointment and slight disgust- Erin made her way up the stairs to join Holtzmann and Patty in the upstairs lab, supressing a yawn as she greeted them. Abby arrived shortly after.

There was an important bust they'd moved up to that afternoon, so everything today had to be fit in beforehand, necessitating an early morning start. Erin remembered that this bust would probably give them the chance to test some ideas about class IV vapours, and perked up a bit at this possibility. She was excited to see if her suspicions about ionic signatures in the spectral field were on the right track.

 

In the centre of the room, Holtzmann rocked forward on her toes, eager to get going- and seemingly unaffected by the early hour.

She thumbed through a stack of printed pamphlets, chin jutting out as she addressed Abby, Patty and Erin.

"For you...and you" She passed out the slim copies, which still retained a little warmth from the printer.

"Aaaaaand last, but _definitely_ not least, Erin."

Holtzmann cleared her throat, looped her thumbs into her waistcoat.

"At Abby's very persistent request, I present you all with your signed copies of 'The Proper Care and Feeding of your Proton Pack, first edition'". The cover of each booklet was a rough sketch of a proton pack, which was swaddled in blankets and being airlifted by a crane (of the mechanical, rather than the avian variety- the visual pun was too hard for the engineer to resist).

"Hah, good job Holtzy, these are even on that glossy art paper Kevin got from Stationary Palace." Patty proffered a hand for a high-five, which Holtzmann accepted with gusto, glad to have finally found a use for the expensive stacks of paper their receptionist had brought back to the firehouse unbidden.

"Yeah," joined Abby, as she flipped to a page detailing various noises the packs might make mid-use, indicating specific maintenance issues. _What did a 'vomiting cassowary' even sound like?_ Pictures of angry alarm bells were helpfully scribbled in the margins, along with loud TAKE TO DR HOLTZ or DO NOT USE headings to indicate emergencies.

"I know you're only visiting Dr Gorin for the holidays, but these'll be handy even when you're here."

Holtzmann flashed a toothy grin.

"Uhuh. They'd also be indispensable in the event of my untimely death, timely alien abduction, or if I unexpectedly abscond to Florida to sell customized, ethical ant farms."

Erin and Patty's eyes bugged.

"Don't ask" warned Abby. Having shared a lab with the blonde engineer long enough to hear her 'career plan B' designs, she was familiar with this line of speculation.

 

Erin carefully flipped through her booklet, lingering over a little tizzy of exclamation marks here or the occasional crossed out word there- even if it was only put together because of a push from Abby for some kind of safety manual for while she was away, it was all just _so Holtzmann_. She wasn't even gone yet, and Erin was already beginning to miss her friend. 

Still, she supposed, this was a well-deserved break for their resident nuclear engineer- even if it was a mildly reluctant one. A week ago she'd informed them all of her imminent absence with a declaration that she had been 'summoned' to the 'wilderness of Seattle' to 'eat turkey and sing carols for her supper'. Despite these theatrics, Erin had an inkling that Holtzmann was quite eager to go and spend some time with her mentor.

The holidays were arriving quickly, and this year Abby and Patty had elected to spend Christmas at the firehouse. Abby's parents were away in New Zealand, so she wouldn't be travelling home for once, and Patty had chosen to stay and keep her company over surviving the noise and chaos of a Tolan family Christmas. Erin had already known Abby would likely be staying- Mr and Mrs Yates still sent Erin a postcard every holiday they took, even when she'd cut off contact with their daughter. Looking at their cheerful faces in the photos they'd send, posing next to all kinds of landmarks, Erin always felt a pang of guilt.

As for her, Erin was content to avoid making plans a little while longer. She supposed she should see her parents, they _were_ getting older after all- she guessed she ought to be more appreciative that they were there and wanting to see her. She guessed she should _want_ to go far more than she actually did. Still, she could put off making any decisions for a few more days.

 

Erin put her book down on a table for later reading, as Holtzmann ushered the team forward, gesturing to an assortment of devices arranged on the bench behind her.

"And now for the _main event_ , ladies and ladies,"

Starting with a new grenade launcher for Abby, Holtz began to run the team through the upgrades she'd made for their equipment.

"Errrin- take a look at this" Holtz said, as she passed Erin something that looked like an improved version of the Proton Shotgun.

"I'm calling it the Ecto-Annihilator." Her hand moved to gently rest over Erin's as the engineer clearly mapped out the gun's features. Holtzmann's eyes never strayed from the shiny new piece of technology, as she demonstrated how to load and calibrate it with pride.

 

Now, Erin Gilbert was intimately familiar with the 'light years away' look which tended to glaze over people's eyes whenever she talked about her work in much detail. Or maybe they looked at _her_ like she was light years away.

Generally, any talk about science that went much beyond "Hello, I'm Dr Erin Gilbert and I specialise in theoretical particle physics..." could lead to this phenomenon. Her muscle memory was finely tuned to that sinking feeling descending upon a night out- to that moment when she would realize that she'd been talking about her gripes with some journal article she'd read, or a twist on string theory she'd played around with while slightly inebriated for too long, only to notice that meanwhile, her date had developed a rapt interest in his pomegranate and feta salad, or none-so-subtly ventured to change the topic to the weekend soccer game.

(Unless he was also in the field- in which case he'd almost inevitably initiate a campaign of one-upmanship that Erin would cede to in the vain hope of 'saving the evening.')

_God forbid I ever make Holtzmann feel that way._

She always made sure to listen carefully whenever the engineer talked about her inventions, which honestly required little to no effort on her part- Holtzmann's pure enthusiasm was infectious, and Erin found herself swept up in its field every time.

Today, however, Erin was struggling.

 

"Wait...could you repeat that?" She asked, after what must have been the second time Holtzmann had run through the multi-setting panel on the Ecto-Annihilator.

"Sure! _This_ button here..."

The cool, slightly calloused skin of Holtzmann's thumb resting on Erin's wrist diverted her attention, like loose paper laid carefully on a desk, unsettled by breeze fluttering through a still room.

Erin supposed that her lack of mental acuity was likely down to a restless night, and the broken coffee machine.

_Note for New Year's resolutions: Decrease reliance on caffeine._

Trying very hard to show that she was listening, she nodded, watched as Holtzmann flipped a stray curl out of her eye, and go on to demonstrate the various settings. The engineer wore her fingerless gloves - the ones with the tear on the left pinkie, her fingertips were lightly dusted with black soot.

_Okay, the left button, not the right one for opening._

When detailing the features of her projects, Holtz frequently seemed to lose what little sense of personal space she possessed. Up close, Erin couldn't help but notice how prettily the corners of Holtzmann's eyes creased when she smiled or frowned, how unexpectedly lovely her skin looked, the light smell of engine oil on her shirt.

 

Slowly Erin became dimly aware of paying more attention to the other woman than the information she was relaying- _Oh-_ and just as she caught herself in this act, Erin was met with a pair of clear blue eyes, unsettlingly fixed on her own.

"Well, wadd'ya think?"

If Holtzmann had had freckles, Erin would have been able to count them from this distance. Time seemed to hum strangely in her ears.

_I think you're beautiful..- Wait, what?!_

Reflexively, Erin took a step back, caught off-guard by her train of thought. A moment passed, and she thought she saw a little uncertainty cloud Holtzmann's face- and that was even more unsettling than the eye contact before. The engineer absently brought her hand to the screw in her necklace, lightly tracing the thread.

_Oh, I need to actually answer. Way to go Erin._

 

"Um, it's really good Holtz- I mean, it's amazing. You've outdone yourself." 

_Get it together!_

Hearing this praise, Holtzmann seemed to shake off her earlier posture like a wet dog.

"Score!" She whooped, and pumped a fist in the air. "Hear that you guys? I'm amazing- Erin said it so it's gotta be true!" Holtzmann shouted over to Abby and Patty, across the room.

Erin felt the tips of her ears heat up.

"Actually I said-"  She bit her tongue just in time, quietly squashing the instinct to correct her friend. _Her friend._ Who she'd apparently been too busy staring at to learn about important safety features.

"Congratulations Holtz" laughed Abby.

"Don't go letting her get a big head Erin- she'll never pay for her own lunch again" Patty warned. "Oh, is that the new Proton Shotgun? We can use that in the bust this afternoon" she said, striding over to check it out.

 

Erin, meanwhile, tried to find a suitable place in her mental filing cabinet for her troublesome new reactions towards Holtzmann, and was coming up short.

The sound of Abby's phone rang through the lab, interrupting her mental gymnastics- the Ghost that they were planning to capture at the library this afternoon had emerged earlier than usual, and begun wreaking havoc on the patrons.

"Right- sure, we'll be there right away" Abby said, "Okay, suit up ladies- let's get to that library and catch some ghosts."

On their way out of the lab, Erin saw Holtzmann reach for her side arms, before quickly grabbing the Ecto-Annihilator back from Patty.

"Go get 'em Er!" she said with a wink, passing Erin the weapon.

_Oh no._

**Author's Note:**

> I don’t know if Stationary Palace is a real store, but it sounds like a place that Kevin would shop at. 
> 
> Thanks for reading! <3


End file.
